What I did at Christmas.
I hate Christmas. I’m not going to apologise for that.

I never apologise for anything.

I’m sorry but that’s the type of man I am.

As soon as Advent begins, or when people start putting up their decorations in September my heart fills with dread…’it’s coming!’
They always have Christmas when the shops are busy, why can’t they have it at a quieter time of  the year?

And it’s always rainy or snowy at Christmas. Why can’t we do like the Australians do and have Christmas in the summer?

At Christmas my house fills with family that I’ve tried to avoid for the rest of the year and they all want feeding and entertaining and because of the Christmas Spirit I’ve got to be nice to them and not tell them to ‘bugger off’ like I want to. They leave lights on all over the house at night, they leave the loo lid up after using it  and spend  longer than they need to in the shower!
To be fair, they do offer to do the washing up…but not one of them can do it properly so I either have to say ‘No’ and do it myself or let them try it and go around after them and do it all again.
And I have to work over the holidays whilst everyone else relaxes and has fun. I hate it!
I do a night shift you see,  moving and delivering things all over the place, the pay is rotten, the equipment I use is outdated, I get no help and if I don’t get finished by morning there’s hell to pay!!
Reindeer are not peaceful animals you know! They’re not like little fluffy Bambis all cuddles and kisses, they bite and kick and they smell at the best of times, but they are daytime animals, so making them work all night is no fun, they don’t like it and they let me know that in no uncertain manner!
Have you ever sat behind 6 grumpy flatulant reindeer who’ve eaten nothing but carrots and mince pies for hours on end! It’s no fun, let me tell you.
You don’t think I eat all those mince pies myself do you? For one thing I’d never fit down the chimneys I have to get down and for another thing…the taste of Mince Pies begin to pall after you’ve eaten the first couple of hundred or so and some of your mum’s are fearful cooks you know, pastry as hard as bullets!
The glasses of sherry and port that people leave out are always welcome but I enjoy it so much of it that now I’ve now got gout and a bulbous red nose from quaffing it.
I’m not going to waste that stuff on the reindeer, they’re grumpy and windy enough already, don’t want them to get drunk too! Do you remember how horrid Uncle Eddie was last Christmas, they’d be like that, only 6 times worse!
You know all this guff about Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. There ain’t no such thing, don’t need him, there’s just me! People mistake me for him in the fog! I don’t know why though I don’t think I look like a reindeer’s face, quite the opposite really!

When I deliver stuff to a Methodist’s house and find a glass of milk or cup of tea left out for me! O how much I like that…NOT! And some of the food those New Agers and Trendies leave out! I wouldn’t touch it myself and daren’t offer it to my grumbling team! Meusli bars and Spinach vol au vents! Bah Humbug! as my old friend Ebeneezer says!
And then to cap it all, as I fly away after making all that effort, ,under the sounds of reindeer barking and whatever I can hear millions of people saying..there ain’t no such a person as Father Christmas…Fiddlesticks, if there weren’t no Santa who would give you presents on someone else’s birthday!

As part of my Christmas tradition I am reading, Charles Dickens’  ‘A Christmas Carol’.  A truly fabulous story but…and mine is a big but…

I am saddened by the dreadful press that Scrooge gets, not especially in the book but by all critics since its publication!

Scrooge as an adult  was the product of the neglect he suffered in his childhood. Unloved and indeed hated by his father who blamed for causing the death of his mother  when giving birth to the child. As soon as he was old enough he was sent to a cold and dismal boarding school where he endured great privation and was left there  during the school holidays by his father. His older sister, Fan, was loved and cared for by their father, all his spleen was vented on Ebeneezer.

Picture the young Ebeneezer, watching his schoolmates and friends travel home for the holidays and festivities with their loving families whilst he had to remain alone in that terrible place knowing his father hated him and hsd abandoned him there.

When he was in his teens his father allowed him to return home, a message sent to Ebeneezer via a third party, his sister.  No apology or words of  regret from the old man for his treatment of the boy, no words of love or welcome, just the information from his sister that ‘Father’s mood   has improved’ and that she had managed to persuade him to let Ebeneezer return home. Did his father want him home  or was it because Fan wanted him back that his father relented?

But what would his home life have been like upon his going  back to live at his father’s house after spending most of his young years away fom it?  Could he have trusted his father’s offer and could he have learned to love him? Did his father love him? Is Love a good and dependable emotion for him to attach to?

As an apprentice at Fezziwig’s he saw fun and jollity at Christmas time, but could he trust it or was  it a sop to the workers by the employer to make them feel wanted and so work harder?  If it was a genuine outpouring of Fezziwig’s love and friendship ! how does Ebeneezer  react to seeing such  benevolence? He sees that Fezziwig likes his workers and loves his children and shares  happiness with them. He sees that Fezziwig’s children love him! But was it  a prudent business practice or is there the fear that the workers will think less of their employer and so shirk their duty through the rest of the year?

Has Ebeneezer read Machievelli’s book ‘The Prince’ which advises that it is better for a leader to be feared than loved by his vassals?

Ebeneezer falls in love but tries his best to ensure his loved one’s  future comfort and happiness by the accumulation of status  and wealth.  In so doing he  becomes avaricious and loses his Loved  One’s respect..

Ebeneezer  rejects love because Love asks naught of him but to be Loved and does not appreciate what he  needs to offer it. , Can  we see shades of Alberich the Nibelung emerging here!

Ebeneezer’s beloved sister dies giving birth to his nephew and this nephew grows up and  rejects his ‘good’ advice. We do not know if he rejected financial or career advice fron Ebeneezer, but he does not seem to be a businessman. (Has he a private income from his late mother’s will? . But Ebeneezer  is heard at one point to chide the boy for marrying someone ‘as poor as himself’, so maybe there was none!

This nephew, whose mother died giving birth to him and who, on her death bed asked Ebeneezer ro look after the child,  marries someone for love, paying no heed to how he will provide for this woman.  Not only is this a  sign  to Ebeneezer of folly on the part of the nephew but further ‘proof’ of Ebeneezer’s intrinsic worthlessness as his counsel is ignored!

By the time that the ghost of Jacob Marley has left him on that gfateful night Ebeneezer’s  bad grace is beginning to weaken and during the visit of the Spirit of Christmas Past he is seeing that life could be different, could be better and that he has the ability to enjoy it if it was. It is, however, necessary for the Spirits of Christmas Present and Future to  visit to convince him that he can change, that it is worth him changing, that he can join Life,  that Life will accept him if he does and  that he can sustain and maintain those changes.

Poor Ebeneezer, weep for his loneliness and his rejection of human interactions. Rejoice in his Salvation. And God Bless Us, everyone!