The New Me is the Old Me part 2

So one of the purposes of my last post was to write something in a time limited fashion. What I wrote was not in deathless prose but I did ‘complete’ it in a relatively short time.

Why does that matter? I hear you ask. It matters because I became so engrossed in my novel that I lost all track of urgency or deadlines; I also tried to create an artistic atmosphere in the narrative that reflected the absence of personality of the Protagonist and provided no point of sympathetic contact between the reader and the Main Character, what I was creating was a long rambling story with no ‘excitement’ or interest. Hell it was boring! But I became so engrossed in the novel that although I had ideas for short stories I tried to fit them within the novel instead of leaving them as stand alone structures. I lost all sense of beginning, mounting narrative and ending; the three act structure of a story line.

I tried to set my self word count targets for my writing day and sometimes I achieved those targets but not in a meaningful way. I could not say at the end of my stint at the word processor that my narrative had progressed or developed in any way, all I could say was ‘I have written x number of words today’.

This has taken me two hours to write so I am going to call it a day now and write another blog post next week.

THE NEW ME IS THE OLD ME.

I

I have realized after a long time of trying, that as a writer I can’t write novels, so I have stopped writing the novel that I have spent the last umpteen YEARS on. The project actually began as a short story but like Topsy it just grew and grew. It started one day in 1986 when I was travelling on a train from Newcastle to London when I got it into my head to write a short story about a vampire so I penned a few pages and worked on it for a few months after I had got off the train. Then I put it aside for a while, too long a while as it turned out. I hadn’t written ‘The End’ at the completion of the story (a habit I later adopted to tell myself to not write any further) I decided that the story needed a prologue so I wrote one as an introduction to the action, the prologue took the reader back 500 years to the birth of the vampire and then from a short prologue it grew into a life story. It wasn’t a full biography but a series of episodes from the vampire’s life concentrating on 100 year intervals. 

The premise of the story was that a vampire was not the debonair lovable rogue that hung around with his blood sucking chums as portrayed in modern occult novels but was a lonely despicable parasite that fed on the life force contained in human blood.

The story was about the final days of the vampire as he finally faced his mortality, something he had been trying to run away from for years. I would explain more about it but it is an episode that I am working up into a short story so there’ll be no spoiler here!

My forte as a writer was/is in short works, flash fiction, humorous satire/piss taking and essays and so that is what I am going to get back to doing on this blog and other selected sites.

My novel is not dead, I shall strip out some of the good scenes and rewrite them in other formats; flash fiction, essays and the like which I hope you will enjoy. So watch this space folks!

To be continued…

BEING WHAT YOU WANT TO BE

I was reading a post on Facebook a little while ago where the poster was trying to give comfort to people with depression and anxiety by saying that they needn’t be too harsh on themselves as they did not choose to be so affected by their emotions. A nice comforting sentiment but not totally true.

Depression is called the illness of the past because we become depressed about something that has happened to us. Anxiety is the illness of the future because we become worried/anxious about something that is going to happen to us ‘We think’ .

Anger is the illness of the present as we become agitated about something that is happening to us in the here and now.

In my experience both as a Therapist and a sufferer of depression it is by our own choice that we endure it ,and the same goes for anxiety, it is our choice to put up with it.

The best, although difficult way to treat these inflictions is to accept that you’ve got them but to decide that they are no longer helping you, thank them then ask/tell them to go.

Depression is a reaction to an upsetting or distressing event and as such shuts down the brain and body to give you the chance…to force you to take the opportunity…to withdraw from life around you and to sit quietly whilst your mind works out how to cope with the outcome of the negative event that you’ve just experienced. The process of the mind adjusting to the loss takes about 2 weeks; not 2 weeks from the tragedy or whatever but 2 weeks from the time you tell yourself, or behave as though, you are depressed. Some people, most people can stay in the depths of depression for years by continually reminding themselves that they are depressed. Stop saying it, stop behaving like it, and it will go within 2 weeks.

Anxiety is trying to protect us from danger and threat, particularly from a threat that may take us off guard. It pays special attention to our peripheral vision, physical, social and psychologial, where. it assumes, threats lurk around and loom over us.

The reasoning for this is that if something is in our central vision, dead ahead of us, we can work out how to deal with it , either fight it or run away from it (interestingly in the jungle and other wild places lions , tigers and other carnivores know that only food runs, so flight is not a real option, we would have to find a more effective way of dealing with the danger.

We can do this by bringing the ‘threat’ or anxiety provoking situation into our central vision ; focus on it, although doing so could increase or sense of harm in the short term once the object is in full view it becomes less of a threat and becomes a problem which we have to deal with.

To be continued…

‘OWZTHAT?

Many years ago my friend Chris and I used to play cricket together. We could do this without having to leave the comfort of the pub by using 2 dice in a game called ‘Owzthat?’ It was a fabulous game in which the ‘batter ‘ would roll a dice to score runs, if the dice landed on ‘Owzthat’ the ‘bowler’ would then roll his dice to decide what happened to the batsman’

It might sound boring but, especially played whilst quaffing a few pints of Old Boycott’s ‘Runemout’ bitter, it can get very exciting.

We would choose our teams, not just from lists of cricketers but from people from all walks of life. Oddly enough the named players, although just a roll of a dice, had good or bad runs of form. My female film stars top batter was Hattie Jacques who scored many a century during her career and Marilyn Monroe was a demon fast bowler with amazing bouncers’ One night Chris and I met up for a match, his team were ‘Roman Emperors’ and mine were ‘Crippled Men from Fiction and History’

When Chris came into the pub I told him that before we played our match I was having to have a chat with my team as one of them wasn’t pulling his weight and would have to go.

What is the problem? Chris asked.

It’s my wicketkeeper, he’s pants, dropping catches and missing stumpings, I’ve got to sack him.’

‘Well get on with it you can’t have dead wood in your team Caligula has been practicing his googlies, you’ll need a good ‘keeper’

That’s all very well but my ‘keeper is Davros (who created the Daleks); how do I tell the most evil man in the Universe that I’m dropping him from my cricket team?’

Strange as it may seem to you (probably) but I was really getting afraid of telling Davros the bad news. What would he do to me! Anyway I bit the bullet, told him, fired him and brought in Blind Pew the pirate as ‘keeper who did a fantastic job until Davros regained his form and rejoined the team.

IDENTITY POLITICS etc

Communism is the ‘Electrification of the Soviet Union’ was a statement attributed to Lenin, or one of his chums, about the means or aim of achieving the ideal Communist state. Alas he decided that the only way of doing that was by tyranny and instilling fear in the hearts and minds of the people.

But, in principle, he was right, the rejection and removal of the old ways of thought and of a hierarchical society based on class, privilege and superstition should and must be done away with and replaced by a scientific, rational society. He thought that this was a position to be worked towards but required many years of sacrifice by the people. Dissent and disagreement were punished severely, but it was all in a good cause!

With the eventual demise of Soviet communism in the late 1980s and the weakening of social democracy in the west, the socialists or the ‘Left Wing’, if you will, turned their backs on the working classes who had achieved a level of satisfaction with their lot as their conditions seemingly improved. Capitalism appeared to have triumphed in it’s struggle against socialism which had no way, apart from through revolution, to win that fight. As was said of the miner’s leader Arthur Scargill during the prolonged, and inevitably doomed, miner’s strike in the 1980s ‘the trouble was that Arthur came between the miners and their wages. Socialism sought equality and ‘enrichment’ for the nation, the proletariat as a whole, whereas the aspirations of the working man were essentially self orientated hence the satirical song of the worker:

THE WORKING CLASS CAN KISS MY ASS

I’VE GOT THE FOREMAN JOB AT LAST.

Socialism as a political force began to die out, even the UK Labour party, supposedly socialist in its philosophy, adopted or adapted to private enterprise and the end of nationalisation. The two main parties of the left and right of British politics drew closer to each other until some of their policies were almost identical.

The Socialists, the Left Wing , needed a new cause to champion and they saw this opportunity with Identity politics and Transgenderism.

The ‘philosophy’ of Postmodernism that was increasingly adopted in the late 20th and early 21st centuries with its rejection of science, rationalism and objective truth in favour of Individualism and ‘Lived Experience’ meant that personal choice and self identity became the way forward. The activists for this way of thought adopted an aggressive attitude towards those who dared to challenge their logic. They claim that it is possible for a man to become a woman just by claiming that he is one. Once he declares he is female he does not have to look, behave or think like a woman, he does not have to possess or demonstrate any femininity but must be treated like a woman and can use female only spaces and join in women’s sports. Anyone, including women, who object to this are accused of misogyny.

Although these activists are called ‘Left Wing’ they have little or nothing in common with political Socialists. I feel in a bit of a bind myself as a political ‘Left Winger’ because although I agree with Left Wing policies about equality in the wider community I am a firm believer and advocate of there being only 2 sexes and genders based on one’s genetic and chromosomal structure from conception.

If a man wants to put on a frock and call himself Deirdre that is fine but if he asserts that by doing so he merits all the benefits and legal rights of being a woman then needs to be brought to book and be made to face the reality of his biological sex.

Poverty is a matter of nurture not nature, it is not innate within a person but is the effect of the society that person lives in. Sex and gender is a matter of nature not nurture, you are born what you are and the society around you cannot change that.

Think about it.

Identity Politics

The Western world seems to be going to hell in a handcart.

The Left Wing Establishment (actually the middle class ‘intelligentsia’.. the so called ‘chattering classes’ in Days of Yore.) appears to be ignoring the aspirations and needs of the working classes and to be actively sponsoring cultural anarchy.

One of the areas that are being used as a battlefield is that of gender/sex.

This elite are doing this by campaigning for the acceptance of Diversity in all aspects of daily life (except in Thought). If anyone should hold and dare to express an opinion different from that that meets the approval of these Left Wingers then woe betide them as the full wrath and ire of this clique will be vented upon the opinion maker. It is very similiar in attitude to that of Fundamentalists of all religious beliefs and the Puritans of the 17th century. “I am right, so you are wrong; you are evil and must be punished for not agreeing with me.”

Now, if a man wishes to wear a dress and call himself Deidre then good luck to him I say but if he then claims that he is a woman and always has been one with all the rights and privileges of being a member of the female sex then there is a problem as he is not, and could never be, female. To give that same ‘opportunity’ of changing their sex to 16 year old children is ludicrous. A young person/adolescent can change their self-identity at the drop of a hat and change it back again just as quickly. these children are not allowed to vote, to drive a motor car, to buy a drink in a pub, to get married without parental permission or to leave school (in the UK) yet it is okay for that child to ‘change’ their sex. It is tantamount to child abuse to encourage them to do so.

To prey on the psychological and emotional insecurities of a teenager and lead them into a lifestyle that will cause them trauma, physical pain and discomfort for the rest of their life is a great failing of the ‘adult’ having and exhibiting responsibility for the welfare of the child.

Think about it.

Hidden Life of Trees

I have just received the illustrated version of this book. It is fantastic with some glorious images, visual and verbal, in it. I got the book to help me with the plot of my own novel partly set in a forest.

it could be argued that the bloke who wrote this book anthropomorphoses (is that actually a word!) trees and forests in his description of how they interact with each other, however there is a lot of evidence both inside and outside of this book to explain the networking that goes on with trees and other plants.

I do so recommend this book to everyone…